Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Why I am divorced. A woman's point of view.

That morning.  I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday,'  and possibly have a small present for me. 

  
As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone  'Happy Birthday.' 
  
I thought....well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... they will remember. 
  
My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.    So when I left for the office I felt pretty low and somewhat dejected. 
  
As I walked into my office, my handsome boss, Rick, said, 'Good morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
 
  
I  worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said,  'It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.' 
  
I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.    Let's go!' 
  
We  went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis  each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. 
  
On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'It's such a beautiful 
day...we don't need to go straight back to the office,  do we?' 
  
I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?' 
  
He  said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner. 
  
After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, 'If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 
  
'Ok.'   I nervously replied. 
  
He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday.' 
  
And I just sat there.... 
on  the couch.... 
naked. 
 

Friday, October 23, 2015

Fwd: A Very Special Edition: 9 learnings from 9 years of Brain Pickings



Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: Brain Pickings Weekly <newsletter@brainpickings.org>
Date: October 22, 2015 at 11:09:06 PM CDT
To: Lyle Cohen <gloveman4@comcast.net>
Subject: A Very Special Edition: 9 learnings from 9 years of Brain Pickings
Reply-To: Brain Pickings Weekly <newsletter@brainpickings.org>

A Very Special Edition: 9 learnings from 9 years of Brain Pickings
Reflections on the rewards of seeking out what magnifies your spirit.
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Hello, Lyle Cohen! This is a Very Occasional Special Edition marking a Very Special Occasion. The regular Sunday edition will resume this weekend, as usual. And if you're enjoying this labor of love, please consider supporting with a modest donation – every little bit helps, and comes enormously appreciated.

9 Learnings from 9 Years of Brain Pickings

On October 23, 2006, Brain Pickings was born as an email to my seven colleagues at one of the four jobs I held while paying my way through college. Over the years that followed, the short weekly email became a tiny website updated every Friday, which became a tiny daily publication, which slowly grew, until this homegrown labor of love somehow ended up in the Library of Congress digital archive of "materials of historical importance" and the seven original recipients somehow became several million readers. How and why this happened continues to mystify and humble me as I go on doing what I have always done: reading, thinking, and writing about enduring ideas that glean some semblance of insight – however small, however esoteric – into what it means to live a meaningful life.

In October of 2013, as Brain Pickings turned seven, I marked the occasion by looking back on the seven most important things I learned from the thousands of hours spent reading, writing, and living during those first seven years. (Seven is an excellent numeral – a prime, a calendric unit, the perfect number of dwarfs.) I shared those reflections not as any sort of universal advice on how a life is to be lived, but as centering truths that have emerged and recurred in the course of how this life has been lived; insights that might, just maybe, prove useful or assuring for others. (Kindred spirits have since adapted these learnings into a poster and a short film.)

Art by Maurice Sendak from his little-known and lovely vintage posters celebrating the joy of reading

As Brain Pickings turns nine, I continue to stand by these seven reflections, but the time has come to add two more. (Nine is also an excellent numeral – an exponential factorial, the number of Muses in Greek mythology, my favorite chapter in Alice in Wonderland.) Here are the original seven, as they appeared in 2013:

1. Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind. Cultivate that capacity for "negative capability." We live in a culture where one of the greatest social disgraces is not having an opinion, so we often form our "opinions" based on superficial impressions or the borrowed ideas of others, without investing the time and thought that cultivating true conviction necessitates. We then go around asserting these donned opinions and clinging to them as anchors to our own reality. It's enormously disorienting to simply say, "I don't know." But it's infinitely more rewarding to understand than to be right – even if that means changing your mind about a topic, an ideology, or, above all, yourself.

2. Do nothing for prestige or status or money or approval alone. As Paul Graham observed, "prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you'd like to like." Those extrinsic motivators are fine and can feel life-affirming in the moment, but they ultimately don't make it thrilling to get up in the morning and gratifying to go to sleep at night – and, in fact, they can often distract and detract from the things that do offer those deeper rewards.

3. Be generous. Be generous with your time and your resources and with giving credit and, especially, with your words. It's so much easier to be a critic than a celebrator. Always remember there is a human being on the other end of every exchange and behind every cultural artifact being critiqued. To understand and be understood, those are among life's greatest gifts, and every interaction is an opportunity to exchange them.

4. Build pockets of stillness into your life. Meditate. Go for walks. Ride your bike going nowhere in particular. There is a creative purpose to daydreaming, even to boredom. The best ideas come to us when we stop actively trying to coax the muse into manifesting and let the fragments of experience float around our unconscious mind in order to click into new combinations. Without this essential stage of unconscious processing, the entire flow of the creative process is broken.

Most importantly, sleep. Besides being the greatest creative aphrodisiac, sleep also affects our every waking moment, dictates our social rhythm, and even mediates our negative moods. Be as religious and disciplined about your sleep as you are about your work. We tend to wear our ability to get by on little sleep as some sort of badge of honor that validates our work ethic. But what it really is is a profound failure of self-respect and of priorities. What could possibly be more important than your health and your sanity, from which all else springs?

5. When people tell you who they are, Maya Angelou famously advised, believe them. Just as importantly, however, when people try to tell you who you are, don't believe them. You are the only custodian of your own integrity, and the assumptions made by those that misunderstand who you are and what you stand for reveal a great deal about them and absolutely nothing about you.

6. Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art than productivity. Ours is a culture that measures our worth as human beings by our efficiency, our earnings, our ability to perform this or that. The cult of productivity has its place, but worshipping at its altar daily robs us of the very capacity for joy and wonder that makes life worth living – for, as Annie Dillard memorably put it, "how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."

7. "Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time." This is borrowed from the wise and wonderful Debbie Millman, for it's hard to better capture something so fundamental yet so impatiently overlooked in our culture of immediacy. The myth of the overnight success is just that – a myth – as well as a reminder that our present definition of success needs serious retuning. As I've reflected elsewhere, the flower doesn't go from bud to blossom in one spritely burst and yet, as a culture, we're disinterested in the tedium of the blossoming. But that's where all the real magic unfolds in the making of one's character and destiny.

And here are the two new additions:

8. Seek out what magnifies your spirit. Patti Smith, in discussing William Blake and her creative influences, talks about writers and artists who magnified her spirit – it's a beautiful phrase and a beautiful notion. Who are the people, ideas, and books that magnify your spirit? Find them, hold on to them, and visit them often. Use them not only as a remedy once spiritual malaise has already infected your vitality but as a vaccine administered while you are healthy to protect your radiance.

9. Don't be afraid to be an idealist. There is much to be said for our responsibility as creators and consumers of that constant dynamic interaction we call culture – which side of the fault line between catering and creating are we to stand on? The commercial enterprise is conditioning us to believe that the road to success is paved with catering to existing demands – give the people cat GIFs, the narrative goes, because cat GIFs are what the people want. But E.B. White, one of our last great idealists, was eternally right when he asserted half a century ago that the role of the writer is "to lift people up, not lower them down" – a role each of us is called to with increasing urgency, whatever cog we may be in the machinery of society. Supply creates its own demand. Only by consistently supplying it can we hope to increase the demand for the substantive over the superficial – in our individual lives and in the collective dream called culture.

In the spirit of reflection, here are my current nine favorite pieces from the first nine years of Brain Pickings:

Musicked Down the Mountain: How Oliver Sacks Saved His Own Life by Literature and Song

Ursula K. Le Guin on Being a Man

Love After Love: Derek Walcott's Poetic Ode to Being at Home in Ourselves

The Life of the Mind: Hannah Arendt on Thinking vs. Knowing and the Crucial Difference Between Truth and Meaning

The Magic of Moss and What It Teaches Us About the Art of Attentiveness to Life at All Scales

Why We Fall in Love: The Paradoxical Psychology of Romance and Why Frustration Is Necessary for Satisfaction

Virginia Woolf on Why the Best Mind Is the Androgynous Mind

A Rap on Race: Margaret Mead and James Baldwin's Rare Conversation on Forgiveness and the Difference Between Guilt and Responsibility

The Shortness of Life: Seneca on Busyness and the Art of Living Wide Rather Than Living Long

For more on the origin story, the ethos, and the spirit that keeps it all going, here is my On Being conversation with the wonderful and generous Krista Tippett, for which I remain enormously grateful:

:: FORWARD TO A FRIEND :: SHARE / READ MORE

If you enjoyed this week's newsletter, please consider helping me keep it going with a modest donation.

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I pour tremendous time, thought, resources, and love into bringing you Brain Pickings, which remains free. If you find any joy and stimulation here, please consider becoming a Member and supporting with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner:You can also become a one-time patron with a single donation in any amount:

The Gentle Giant: Oliver Sacks and the Art of Choosing Empathy Over Vengeance

An existential lesson gleaned from a brush with death and foolishness.

Immortal Beloved: Beethoven's Passionate Love Letters

"My heart overflows with a longing to tell you so many things..."

John Steinbeck's Prophetic Dream About How the Commercial Media Machine Is Killing Creative Culture

Half a century before Buzzfeed, a nocturnal epiphany about the greatest threat to art.

Italo Calvino on Photography and the Art of Presence

"The life that you live in order to photograph it is already, at the outset, a commemoration of itself."

Trailblazing Astronomer Vera Rubin on Obsessiveness, Minimizing Obstacles, and How the Thrill of Accidental Discovery Redeems the Terror of Uncertainty

Why all creative endeavor is a matter of "getting hung up on little interesting things."

How to Disagree: Amin Maalouf on the Key to Intelligent Dissent and Effective Criticism

"To approach someone else convincingly you must do so with open arms and head held high, and your arms can't be open unless your head IS high."

Alice Walker on What Her Father Taught Her About Lying and the Love-Expanding Capacity of Telling the Truth

Why telling the truth is a supreme act of love and the most powerful antidote to violence.

A Zen Master Responds to Hate Mail

"Your situation, your condition, your opinions — throw them all away."

John Lennon's Letters to Fans on the Value of Meditation

"I suggest you try transcendental meditation through which all things are possible."

Galileo on Critical Thinking and the Folly of Believing Your Preconceptions

"To divine that wonderful arts lie hid behind trivial and childish things is a conception for superhuman talents."

Virginia Woolf on the Past and How to Live More Fully in the Present

"The past only comes back when the present runs so smoothly that it is like the sliding surface of a deep river."

Know Your Clouds: A 1966 Animated Morphology of the Skies

A surprisingly poetic educational film about the ten basic cloud types and their distinct shapes, shades, and altitudes.

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Sunday, August 23, 2015

Obama health care fraud


http://www.generationaldynamics.com/pg/ww2010.weblog.htm

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Health

The association between intelligence and lifespan is mostly genetic.

Dissecting Liberalism July 30, 2015

IRS still targeting conservatives


The IRS Is Still Targeting Conservatives!

The political targeting of Americans violates our most basic rights.

Dissecting Liberalism Aug. 03, 2015

Monday, July 27, 2015

Obama's Iran Deal

from Dissecting Leftism blog

Did Obama Just Provoke a Constitutional Crisis?

Don't underestimate the threat to our rule of law that he just created by bringing the Iran deal to the UN without Congressional approval

President Obama's decision to submit the Iranian nuclear deal to the United Nation Security Council before Congress has had their 60 days to review it could be as problematic for Congress as making a judgment on the deal itself.

Congress felt its responsibilities were already being usurped when they learned the Iranian deal would be treated as an agreement rather than a treaty. In response to widespread protest, the White House had to permit the agreement to be submitted to both houses of Congress for approval. Yet fearing that a negative vote — certain in the House — would occur, the administration decided to go to the UN immediately. This makes any congressional veto useless; the provisions of the agreement almost impossible to turn back.

Yesterday, the UN Security Council unanimously passed a resolution endorsing the Iranian deal. The 15-0 vote, the Times of Israel reports, "clears one of the largest hurdles for the landmark pact, which will now go before the U.S. Congress where it may face an uphill battle for confirmation."

Only after it was a done deal did U.S. Ambassador to the UN Samantha Power choose to raise the issue of Iran's continuing human rights violations. These were studiously avoided during the negotiations, when the U.S. had leverage.

Now, like bringing the deal to Congress, this is all for show.

Donald Trump Fox News

Trump as Rorschach Test

by Roger L Simon

Fox News owes Donald Trump a bazillion dollars.  He has single-handedly transformed their broadcast of the first Republican presidential debate on August 6 — normally a routine event almost a year and a half out from an election and of significant interest only to political junkies — into a coup de television equivalent to Caitlyn Jenner appearing nude on 60 Minutes.  Who wouldn't want to watch?

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Dissecting Leftism

Friday, July 10, 2015



America the crazy

By David Limbaugh

Lately I've shared my lament that in America today we are witnessing a surreal transformation of the greatest nation in history. Last week, a spate of headlines made this point better than I could make it on my own.

I was minding my business, mind you, surfing the Internet to check out the news and political sites and forums I customarily visit, and these news and column headlines, most from last week, some from a bit earlier and a few from this week, bombarded me. I wasn't looking for trouble. Nor was the satirical website The Onion, one of the sites I visited.

The world is upside down, inside out, sideways, crazy, nutso. Bad is good; up is down. Left is right; right is wrong. Evil is good; insanity is sanity. Abnormal is normal. Circles are squares. Hot is cold. Luke warm is red hot - among Republicans, anyway. Common sense is uncommon. The world is otherworldly. Dissent is "hate." Diversity means conformity. The good guys are the bad guys; virtue is vice; sophistry is intellectualism; jerks are celebrated; debauchery is glorified; the holy is debauched. Let me share some of these headlines, which speak for themselves - loudly and depressingly.

Sent from my iPad

Dissecting Leftism


Obama wants to choose your neighbors

Having spent years perfecting the art of inciting race warfare, Barack Obama and his administration released new housing rules that will define, qualify and categorize every community across the country by race, with the aim of forcing every neighborhood to comply with government race quotas.

Sent from my iPad

Dissecting Leftism

Carter's Wrong — America Is Not in Inevitable Decline

America survived Carter.  It can survive Obama too

As the worst U.S. president of the 20th century, Jimmy Carter's prognostications about foreign policy should be taken for what they're worth — nothing. But that didn't stop MSNBC from asking the former president his thoughts on the state of America in the modern world. Carter's response was predictably pessimistic.

America is "in an inevitable relative decline," Carter said, "not because of any fault of ours" but through "the combination of China and India and Brazil and South Africa and others" exercising "economic and cultural influence [that] will replace a lot of the power and preeminence that the United States enjoyed in the past."

http://dissectleft.blogspot.com/

Sunday July 12, 2015
Sent from my iPad

Friday, June 26, 2015

transgenderism

The dark untold story of transgenderism


http://www.wnd.com/2015/06/untold-dark-story-of-transgenderism/#uOcbdUY4XFPzBUDo.03

Friday, May 1, 2015

Teen moms rescued from baby factory

http://www.newser.com/story/120108/32-teen-moms-rescued-from-nigerian-baby-factory.html

senators who voted for Obamacare out of office

http://m.washingtonexaminer.com/26-senators-who-voted-for-obamacare-wont-be-part-of-new-senate/article/2555721?custom_click=rss?custom_click=rss

Monday, March 30, 2015

Veterans administration

Obamaacare

from Dissecting Leftism blogspot

Tuesday, March 31, 2015



Obamacare blocks patients paying for treatment

Care can be denied 'even if patient is willing,' able to cover costs

A new report by the Robert Powell Center for Medical Ethics at National Right to Life warns that one of the Obamacare provisions that ex-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Americans would discover if Congress passed the bill is that some seniors will not be allowed to spend as much as they wish on their health care.

The extreme position was revealed in a special report by the NRLC titled “The Affordable Care Act and Health Care Access in the United States,” which analyzes four fundamental policy areas of Obamacare.
 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Israel Climbs the Ladder of Economic Freedom to Prosperity

Israel Climbs the Ladder of Economic Freedom to Prosperity

In terms of skills and education, Israel probably has the highest level of human capital per person in the whole world. Yet it’s per capita output is mediocre – in the middle of the developed country pack. Why is that? Because Israel has been slow to adopt capitalism.

dissecting leftism March 27, 2015